i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
