belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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