sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This girl is more easily done than said...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize