Kiss
Puke
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
