Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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