Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
