pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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