people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
