I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
