Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
