Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
