Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
