how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
