i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
