He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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