Sry I called you an 8
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize