i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He did a backflip because drugs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
