I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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