she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
