His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
