Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
