Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
