and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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