you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
