He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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