Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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