Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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