we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I want is dick and wine.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
