Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
