Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
should my penis look like a turkey
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
