i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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