The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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