Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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