I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
