Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
