new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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