I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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