OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
