the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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