also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
