went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
