So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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