i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Someone shattered a urinal.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
