Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
