No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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