He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
