He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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