clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
