so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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