so that wasnt chicken after all
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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