I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just blew my weed a kiss
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my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.