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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  so what did you do?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (661): View more from California

  Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.

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