Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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  (937): What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease. http://tfl.nu/nyp8
  Replies (97) Good night (1315) Bad night (2888)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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  (813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt
  Replies (37) Good night (13509) Bad night (1068)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

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  (913): Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding http://tfl.nu/jewl
  Replies (8) Good night (3713) Bad night (1304)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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  (202): I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast http://tfl.nu/11fz
  Replies (13) Good night (1992) Bad night (1163)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.

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  (434): i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister. http://tfl.nu/d8xo
  Replies (34) Good night (3584) Bad night (3132)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS

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  (516): Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS http://tfl.nu/0ql8
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.

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  (778): Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties. http://tfl.nu/x4bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1440) Bad night (704)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...

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  (817): No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex... http://tfl.nu/th3v
  Replies (7) Good night (1566) Bad night (503)
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  (310): View more from California

  Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

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  (310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc
  Replies (2) Good night (1288) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?

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  (206): How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!? http://tfl.nu/pijo
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (395)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.

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  (218): found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging. http://tfl.nu/wawj
  Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES. ALL MY YES.

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  (513): I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries. (1-513): YES. ALL MY YES. http://tfl.nu/gvep
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny

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  (919): You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny http://tfl.nu/d0i4
  Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.

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  (248): Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin. http://tfl.nu/4lxb
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..

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  (440): Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix.. http://tfl.nu/v9u4
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (398)

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