Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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  (586): sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey. http://tfl.nu/7b75
  Replies (15) Good night (3634) Bad night (657)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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  (757): He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish. http://tfl.nu/lwox
  Replies (42) Good night (20309) Bad night (1245)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4396) Bad night (1029)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you

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  (408): I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you http://tfl.nu/72n4
  Replies (15) Good night (2327) Bad night (684)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.

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  (702): See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first. http://tfl.nu/1rv0
  Replies (9) Good night (1702) Bad night (731)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

  (619): View more from California

  This is a dangerous realization

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  (973): wine lets you be on time to class apparently (619): This is a dangerous realization http://tfl.nu/clwe
  Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.

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  (859): Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling. http://tfl.nu/qu9z
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

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  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (494)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood

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  (612): Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood http://tfl.nu/1at9
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (954)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.

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  (614): I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time. http://tfl.nu/ekmz
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (411)
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  (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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  (909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr
  Replies (6) Good night (749) Bad night (423)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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  (732): For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love http://tfl.nu/5u72
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.

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  (425): There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it. http://tfl.nu/wv9t
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (284)
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  (559): View more from California

  I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right

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  (559): I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right http://tfl.nu/jxe2
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.

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  (952): Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats. http://tfl.nu/v77x
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (150)

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