Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?