I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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