I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
