drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
