It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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