in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
