I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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