dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
