eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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