at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize