Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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