so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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